Your guide to Indian beer...Part 2

     7.       Okocim Palone

Apparently, Okocim is a polish brewery, and Palone is produced in India by Carlsberg under license from Okocim. Palone is not available freely everywhere, but you can pick up one at "Madhuloka". Particularly strong beer with caramel flavor, taste brings back wonderful memories of Sam Adams.


Ram's verdict: YES!!!

Opening browser through intent Android 2.1

If you're trying to open the Android browser through intent like this:

siteURL = Uri.parse("google.com");
Intent browserIntent = new Intent(Intent.ACTION_VIEW, siteURL);
mContext.startActivity(browserIntent);

It's most definitely going to crash. When starting browser through intent, you've got to set the scheme for the url (such as http). If your url does not contain a scheme, like the example above, make use of the Uri class to build a Uri using the scheme before starting the browser, like this (a very crude code snippet, feel free to add any refinements in your comments):

siteURL = Uri.parse("google.com");
Uri.Builder builder = new Uri.Builder();
builder.scheme("http");
ssP = finalURL.getSchemeSpecificPart();
if(!ssP.startsWith("//"))
    ssP = "//" + ssP;
Uri.encode(ssP, "/");
builder.encodedAuthority(finalURL.getSchemeSpecificPart());

The weaker sex? Really??

Whats the story with this phrase? Seriously?? Whoever coined this ridiculous epithet was either stoned or had the IQ of an earthworm. Agreed, I've got just about a few months of marriage under my belt. But I've had my fair share of female acquaintance. And I have enough evidence to prove that men are really the weaker sex.

    Lets hack this down methodically; what's strong and what's weak? When we say "weaker sex", are we referring to biological weakness? Heck no. I've hardly ever seen my wife sniffling on a cold. She's built to last. I, on the other hand have had every form of allergy you can think of. I've had parthenium/dust/smoke sneezing bouts, insect wings getting caught in my cornea (no kidding!!), butt pain from running and what not. I'm not just basing this on my wife, I've observed a few other women I know (yes honey, on a purely platonic non-pervert non-attraction basis) and they're just totally sickness impervious! There's even been a study that establishes that male fetuses have a smaller chance of survival compared to female ones. Lets face it guys, we might be able to pump up the muscle and blow up our chests, but a pin prick is more likely going to make us flinch than most women we know. And lets see ourselves delivering a baby and living to tell the tale.

    Maybe emotional/mental weakness? Maybe in intelligence? Are you kidding me?? They could run circles around us all frigging day, and we'd have no idea. If you've seen this movie called "The Big Fat Greek Wedding" (yeah, a chick flick I watched with You Know Who), there's a pretty interesting dialogue which still resonates in my ears. "Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants."  We would be puppets in their hands if they wish to be the puppeteers. Its a miracle that either most women do not want to be puppeteers by choice or do not realize the power they have over men. Don't get me wrong, I'm not implying women are manipulative. Well at the workplace, some of them are, but hey, they're just giving us what we want and taking what they want! You know, a smile here, a bending down to pick up a pen there and so on..nothing wrong in taking advantage of the pig-like ways of men. Now the lesser the said here, the better, lets just move on. What other manifestation of weakness is our ignorant male brain conjuring up?

    Thinking of it, its all just social. Right from when we're kids, girls are encouraged to learn how to dance, paint and other delicate looking art forms. We do not pause to appreciate their capability and dexterity, but deem such forms to be "fit for women" due to the whole delicate thingy. Young girls are taught to "dress appropriately", talk in a politically correct manner and have oodles of patience. And "boys will just be boys". It is there ladies and gentlemen, where the whole notion of "weaker sex" stems from. Its just what we are conditioned to socially! And I suggest we men give it a thought, and acknowledge the equality if we ever want to have a chance of fighting back..erm...I mean..uh..co-exist peacefully. ;-)

Your guide to Indian beer

Predictability. That's always been my problem. Anyone who knows me well enough knew this was coming.

Lets face it, when it comes to beer in India, we are not spoiled for choice. For most people, the buck stops at Kingfisher, or maybe even Haywards or Royal Challenge. Other "imported" brands do co-exist in the market, Fosters, Carslberg, Tuborg and more recently Budweiser, but not many of these cater to a picky palate. Personally, after having experienced craft beers, seasonal beers, ales, porter, craft beers and the like over the last two years, coming back home opened up a huge void in beer drinking. So huge a void that for a few months, I hardly indulged in a spontaneous 'kick back with a beer' hour. But again, what are we if we do not learn to overcome (Oh great. Now I have the "We shall overcome" hymn stuck in my head)? So I decided to go about this scientifically. I decided to scour the market and list my options. I decided to stay off the imported list (oh yeah, we do get many of those. Leffe, Stella, Corona, Peroni and what not) since they were all priced at Rs.160 a pint. And yay! Here are the results. 

     1.        Kingfisher

Beer in India is mostly synonymous with Kingfisher, "The King of Good Times".  All versions of KF as it is popularly known, is light tasting, easily drinkable with plenty of malt. KF Strong is easily the flagship, with about 8% alcohol and a full bodied taste. KF Premium is about 5% alcohol, and is considered "light beer" around these areas. KF Blue is purportedly aimed at the youth, but is real watery and quite a bummer, tastes almost like Fosters. More recently, KF has come out with KF Draught and KF Strong "Fresh". These are true winners. Draught in a can is a fantabulous idea. KF Strong "Fresh" also comes in a 500 ml can, and is my pick of the lot. Strong and heady, and yet tastes like draught. 
Ram's verdict: KF Strong "Fresh", KF Draught. Truly worth it.

  
    2.        Haywards

Back in the day, this was our most preferred beer. Apparently, its a premium lager. But true to how its advertised, its just a super strong beer and almost tastes medicinal! Its great for someone who's just looking for a good fast buzz, but not so great for self proclaimed connoisseurs (yeah, me). 
Ram's verdict: Pick up this one only if you have no other option or you want to get high fast. Be prepared for a strong medicinal aftertaste!




    3.        Carlsberg, Fosters, Heineken, Budweiser

    Classified as pale lager, these are watery, and have got no personality whatsoever. Whoever feels otherwise can go write their own blog. 
Ram's verdict: Strict no-no



   4.        Tuborg:

For a long time, I was associating Tuborg with Carlsberg. The green lager bottle even looked similar to Carlsberg. If I had written this post last week, I'd have put Tuborg in Category 3. But then, I picked up this "Tuborg Gold" Strong Lager over the weekend. This one was completely different! This one was full bodied, strong, flavorsome and enjoyable. A truly strong pilsner.
Ram's verdict: Go for it!

5.        Indus Pride

   Indus Pride is the surprise of the year, as far as I'm concerned. I'd shelved the idea of picking up one until my 'scientific approach' forced me to. Its marketed as 100% malt beer and is true to its suo moto. Its really "rich" tasting, with a slight sweetish after taste.      

Ram's verdict: Extremely refreshing beer, I'd recommend Indus Pride to anyone who likes beer with a flavor.

    6.        Kalyani Black Label

I know what you're thinking. Cheap ass Indian beer which would definitely make you puke/give you a hangover right? You've got this one completely wrong. As a learned, Kalyani is actually quite smooth and mellow. True, owing to its 8% alcohol content, its got quite a bite, but hey, too much of any beer is bound to give you a hangover! Like the Indus Pride, Kalyani's got a sweet after-taste as well, must be all the malt.

Ram's verdict: Go for it if you like beer with character.

Well, that's it folks. I'd have liked to add King's to the list, but unfortunately, King's is available only in Goa. And Goa was so long ago lost in oblivion, I don't even remember what it tasted like. In India, with such few options, you've got to mix it up. I usually don't pick up KF too often, that just encourages "lazy beer drinking", where you just stick to the known. I highly recommend Tuborg Gold and Indus Pride, to me they've been quite the revelation. There's UB Export, Royal Challenge and Hayward's Black, the last one being some kind of stout beer. These might make it to my list too, lets wait and watch.

Good Android developer books

I've been trying to get up to speed on Android and I'm going to try to list some of the better books I've come across.

1. Hello Android - Ed Burnette: This is undoubtedly the best for those like me who are cerebrally  challenged. Those who like short and really simple explanations. Its pretty basic and can get you all Androidy in no time.
2. Unlocking Android - Frank Ableson: For slightly more mature readers who can go past page 5 in one sitting. Still pretty basic though.
3. The Busy Coder's Guide to Android Development: This is more from an application perspective. Little OTT for me, but then hey, I don't judge. My mental maturity is questioned by most people.

 There's of course millions of links and resources on the WWW. http://developer.android.com/index.html is great for the nitty gritty. Ok, that's about as much I can write about geeky stuff before i drop off...

Valuable lessons that the recession taught me

750 job applications and 5 months into my job hunt in the US, I was staring down the barrel. Human that I was, the initial reaction was sheer disappointment.This had been a trying time no doubt, and a lot of effort had gone into looking for a job.  It has taken me a month to just get to the point where I can comfortably write about it. I even have relapses sometimes ;-). But, cutting to the chase, hunting for a job in the recession has taught me many a thing, in fact, lately, I've been thinking of it as the best character test that life could throw at me. I've done my best to list out what I learned, in the order of importance of course.

A lesson in humility

Lets face it, all of us, and I mean ALL..at some point or the other deem ourselves 'above average'. Ever though about it? How come all of us are 'above average'? We all love comparisons, especially if we are on the higher scale.And quite so often, we are disappointed that life gives someone else an opportunity that 'I truly deserved'. I have been cured of this sin of snobbery. It is very minor snobbery, really. And yet the cure has arrived.

Whiskey is awesome

I have always been a beer person. As cliched as it may seem, some tough times introduced me to whiskey, the single malt variety. And I love it. Chivas, Glenmorangie and Glenfiddich(the only ones that my budget permits). Tastes best when consumed in solitary confinement, in a prim and proper whiskey glass, coupled with soft rock. Neat is the way to go, but an ice cube or two and a dash of club soda won't hurt. Adding Coke or any other such beverage is a huge no-no, as is making your drink a popsicle by adding too much ice.

Odysseus must set sail again

Odysseus had tried to avoid the Trojan war by feigning lunacy, as an oracle had prophesied a long-delayed return home for him if he went. But we all know that finally Odysseus had to go, and he had to endure the delayed return. He did survive, and have a couple of wonderful books dedicated to him though. You are free to make your own conclusions, but this philosophy is something that really eliminated the 'why' angle from my self blown up miseries.

Triumph of the will
Its all about how strong you are, isn't it? I would clench my teeth when someone would point out that I was the longest serving intern in The Company. I eventually learned how to maintain my self-control, and have become really good at it! These days, I laugh along as well! No, seriously, this is the most useful lesson that the recession has taught me, composure in public. Emotional intelligence.

I am as significant as the other
During one of my moping sessions, a friend said "A 108 year old multi billion dollar company collapsed. What can a small insignificant Ramachandran Eswaran do?" That just shocked me out of self pity. I have come to realize that in the bigger realm of things, the word 'I' holds no true meaning. The sooner you start thinking 'us', the better for you.

More to follow, watch this space!

Sex and the automotive

I had a lengthy discussion with my better half this morning about my recent post on the Yamaha VMax. And I list her opinions: "That thing looks hideous." "The silver tube thingys on the side of the bike looks ugly, why can't they just take it away? Or just paint it in fuschia?". But what really took the cake was "This thing looks like a car on a diet, or a bike that overate. I think what it really lacks is 2 more wheels." And I know she was genuinely voicing her opinion, and not just trying to be funny. There have been many such discussions. For instance, she doesn't believe Michael Schumacher is anything special. "Ask him to come to Bangalore and drive that silly looking red thing of his at those speeds and I will accept. Any monkey can drive a four wheeled thingy fast enough on an open race track." Women, barring a few hate anything automotive. Just the other day, I was trying to get her identify different car shells. Coupe, Sedan, Hatchback, Station Wagon and SUV. Simple enough isn't it? Nothing over the top. Needless to say, I failed miserably. According to her, a sports coupe is "really low, cannot be good for arthritis". The automotive supplement that we get once a week with our newspaper, the one that I look forward to, is her  'chappathi making newspaper'.

However, there is hope left in the world. As I learned, there are some things that cannot be discussed between soul mates of opposite sexes. Unless you want to hear statements that are really hard to find retorts for, men, please confine the automotive within your own male circles.